Review: “Building 26”

February 16, 2009

I love the Sylar storyline and how the kid suckers him into being his mentor and to opening up. But then Sylar plays him with the old locking-the-door-and-driving-away bit. I thought he was going do the thing where you almost let the person in, drive off a few feet, stop, say “Jk,” pretend you’re going to let them in, and then do it again. Three or four more times. I guess Sylar wasn’t in a humorous mood. However, evidently the kid grew on him (that was a bit predictable).

Ando and Hiro’s bromance continues its rocky run as Ando steals Hiro’s thunder (and then gets his ass kicked with a pot). I’m glad Hiro was able to save the day and stop the wedding by wielding a butter knife. It’s not quite a samurai sword but it was still pretty “smooth.” Ha.

Is it just me, or was Tracy super hot when she was all badass and sweaty?

Claire continues to rebel by warning that Alex dude. When she told him he couldn’t use his credit cards or go back to his place, and he was all like where will I go? I was thinking WTFS. You can breath under water and you live in California. Walk west, jump into the sea, and go chill in the Marianas Trench until this whole thing blows over. But what does he do? Hides in Claire’s closet. WT…wait for it…FS.

The best part of this evening was at 9:44 when the local NBC news aired a 5 second teaser in which the anchor said, “What happens when a pet chimp goes bad? We’ll show you at 11.” I’ve never wanted to watch the news so badly in all of my life. (I still won’t, though.)


I can’t decide how I feel about the frame story approach with Nathan on the phone. It mildly interested me, but on the other hand, it didn’t. At all. I recant the independent clause from two sentences ago.

I’m creating a new hip acronym: WTFS (What the Eff, Suresh!?). A big WTFS to him telling Hiro, “This is not your fight anymore.” Like 3 seconds ago Suresh was powerless, 2 seconds ago he was some kind of alien creature, and 1 second ago he loses those side effects and suddenly he’s all high and mighty like, “I’ve got the REAL powers blah blah blah I’m so heroic you are nothing, even though you can’t CONTROL SPACE & TIME right now I’m so much better than you and you’re so Japanese and short and you have such a less refined accent than I have and your hair is so much less wavy and dreamy.” Where does he get off? WTFS!?* You need to go back to stringing yarn in that attic apartment, pretending to be significant.

Ahhhhhh, Peter can only hold one power at a time. This would kind of suck, because you’d always be like, “Oh man, I wish I had that other power right now.” Or you may encounter embarrassing situations such as…trying to lift a car because you thought you currently had super strength only to discover–over the malevolent din of everyone’s laughter–that all you’ve managed to do is freeze it. Good luck with that, Peter Petrelli.

Unfortunately, I’ve got a stack of subpar essays to grade, so here’s a quick rundown of some of my other emotions throughout the rest of the episode:

Daphne is dead! Oh no 😦

Sylar finds an apprentice! Hooray!

HRG elects not to shoot Peter. Perhaps there’s some good in him? No, he definitely is trying to please Nathan so Claire is kept safe.

Survivors talking about taking the fight to them? Badass!

Claire gets anonymous texts about being ready? That was funny in THE OFFICE when Creed asked, “What’s a text?”

*Feel free to begin using WTFS in everyday situations where someone makes an insanely terrible decision

Kind of a scattered episode that was all over the place as they try to catch us up on most of the characters. So here’s my attempt to offer some insight into these updates.

Stacy/Tracy/Whoever gets caught. I don’t care, except I must admit that I was hoping for a bit of side-boob in that opening scene. A blurry bare back just hasn’t done it for me since 1992.

I wish I could buy a firehouse and made it into a lair just like Hiro. I’m not sure I’d buy a firehouse, though. Maybe an underwater cave, a skull-shaped island, or a treehouse might do for my fortress of solitude. I also need to get me a Rando-Cycle. You know, for the chicks. Unfortunately, Hiro is taken despite the fact he is currently powerless. He should sue.

Peter is a paramedic and though it’s a step up in practicality from a hospice worker, it’s a bit predictable. He runs into Suresh again, and they take a nostalgic cab ride. Throughout the course of events, both get suckered into captivity. Peter’s powers have returned with a slight twist. They are now more akin to Arthur’s abilities as touch seems to transfer the powers. I wonder if the touch-ee loses their abilities as he gains them.

Claire is trying to decide on a college. She’s getting even bitchier. She needs to go to college. Taken captive later in the episode, we discover she is not attractive in a frumpy orange jumpsuit.

Sylar finds his father and discovers he was a black market baby. How ironic that his “real” father was a taxidermist, preserving living things which no longer function, in opposition to the clockmaker who makes non-living things function. But perhaps I’m reading too much into it? BTW, did you understand his entrance into the house as his desire to return to the womb? Jk. Over at the new location, the hunting squad tries to bring him down but he reminds us just how badass he is. I love him more than ever.

Matt and Daphne struggle to deal with normalcy. I think the real struggle, however, is that she’s realizing how much hotter she is than him. She’s like an 8 or 9, and he’s totally a 4 or 5. A mismatch like this is bound to face some major problems as insecurities arise. You can’t fight mathematics. A successful couple must really be within a score of 2 from one another (unless the one with lower hotness makes up for it in hilarity–but let’s face it, parkman hasn’t gotten a laugh since that turtle joke several months ago). The only thing Parkman has going for him is that he is now a prophet. However, I don’t really like that they made him a skilled artist. I wish he would draw the future via crappy stick figures and a few stubby crayolas.

HRG works with Nathan!? Que el efe, hombre? I have a flickering hope that he’s working for the man so that he can bring him down, but I just don’t know anymore. I wanted to slap him just as much as I wanted to slap Gaeta over in BSG.

That was a creepy closing scene in the hangar, mostly because it strikes a chord with the US government’s treatment of terrorist suspects. If they have superpowers, though, I’m on their side (and now I’ve probably been flagged by the CIA). I kind of wish the episode would have ended with them taking off on the plane and not breaking out. It would have been much darker, and therefore better.

REVIEW: “Dual”

December 15, 2008

As usual, confusion upon jumping into the second half. Thus, I decided to take a crack and make a conjecture as to how each zany situation arose:

Situation: HRG and Meredith are stuck inside of a cell on Level 5. Evidently she is about to explode, and he can prevent this by shooting her.
My Explanation: Meredith and HRG were passionately making out in a secluded area of the building, when they tripped over a chair. Meredith fell into a vat of gasoline and HRG fell onto the switch that locked the cell.

Situation: Ando has some kind of super power which turns his arm a shiny red. When he touches other people, they also turn a shiny red.
My Explanation: He got hold of some of the formula, and now it’s slowly turning him into the Kool-Aid Man. When he touches other people, they also turn into the Kool-Aid Man. If they bust through a brick well, the change will become permanent, otherwise it will just last until the next eclipse (which, in the HEROES universe, should be in a couple of days).


Situation: Knox is about to punch Nathan. Tracy freezes and then shatters him.

My Explanation: Nathan stepped on Knox’s new kicks and scuffed them. Nathan then refused to apologize because he’s an ass. Tracy kills Knox because she’s racist. She was unaware that he was about to punch Nathan.

Situation: Peter and Flint are destroying the formula, while Suresh lies unconscious on the floor.
My Explanation: Suresh accidentally punched himself out when he threw a feeble haymaker at Peter, and Peter ducked. Peter and Flint then proceeded to destroy the formula because they hate Suresh and thought it would be funny. They had already taken his lunch money and given him a wedgie.

Hmm. As the episode progressed, I discovered that many of my suppositions were incorrect. Meh. As for the beginning of Volume 4: “Fugitives”? You gotta love the Black president*, even despite the fact that the series seems to be shamelessly emulating X-Men. None the less, I’m intrigued.

*Let’s see if he’s despotic.

Black Servitude in HEROES

December 9, 2008

Funny title, eh? Kind of like a term paper title. I just wanted to include this tiny bit of social commentary because I think it is thought-provoking. A wise person once observed that in film/literature, Blacks are often portrayed in roles of servitude. Although not fettered, they are often bound to serve or provide some kind of guidance to a white person. Think of The Legend of Bagger Vance, Hitch, Batman, etc.

It displeases me that HEROES does not escape this. The Haitian was the company’s servant, doing as HRG commanded. And then in “Our Father,” after Arthur is killed, Peter curtly says, “Go after [Sylar].” The Haitian nods and then dutifully obeys. All that was missing is the, “Yes, massa’.”

Bet you didn’t think this blog would make ya think today.

-Hilarious language barrier moments with Hiro and Claire. Why doesn’t real life have subtitles?
-So we know that Hiro’s mother is a healer, but what was Kaito Nakamura’s powers? I hope it has something to do with baking.
-Elle almost had a viking funeral. I would like a viking funeral. I’m glad they brought her back just to kill her. I suspect that the writers understood the romantic angle wasn’t working. Romance NEVER works on this show. The other person always ends up dead, and more importantly, I always end up cringing in disgust.
-I like how the program to create artificial powers is called Intelligent Design. Cheap shot at Christianity? Perhaps. Ah well.
-Claire changes her baby self. How strange that would be to see your own genitalia at that age.
-I LOVE evil Sylar. “It’s not going to hurt a bit. Got me. That’s a lie…cake!” I still think he’s going to have a defining moment before the season is out, and that he’s going to land on the good side.
-Ando was also funny: “I like teleporting better.” Besides that line, however, I felt like this storyline was utter filler. Oh no, we have to find the sketch book now to figure out what happens. Two commercial breaks and one tubby bicycle messenger later, they have it. Not exactly a heroic quest. They could have just had another issue and used the extra time to do something cool, like have Sylar track down/kill another person with abilities.

-Hiro’s memory is restored by his mother. I wonder if his sister has any powers? After Hiro becomes the catalyst, he then loses it along with his powers! Ahh! Hiro’s trapped in time!!! Serves him and his huge hubris right.

-I’m glad the Haitian is speaking more frequently. He has such wisdom. But apparently he also has a limit to his powers. Interesting…

-Elevators sure are awkward, even without Sylar standing next to you covered in blood.

-Never trust anyone who tells you, “It’s all right,” while standing outside of your bulletproof box.

-Sweet scene with Sylar stopping the bullet, only to pull that badass line: “You’re not a killer, Peter. But I am.” Then POW! Man, that was great. I’m surprised they didn’t wait until the season finale to kill him off. I wonder who’s in line to be the next big villain? Nathan? Sylar once again? Alejandro? JK.

-I thought after Arthur Petrelli died his powers would return to those form which he took them (kind of like in
The Giver
when the memories return to the community).

-Stupid “Last HEROES of the year” fooled me into thinking next Monday was the season finale. Bastards.

I just came to the disturbing realization that I never wrote a review of “The Eclipse: Part II”, nor did I even finish watching the first half! In fact, I’m now seriously considering quitting my job due to its interference with my HEROES viewing and blogging.

In other news, Nathan Petrelli must have the single worst voting attendance record in the Senate. With the exception of John McCain.


Gabriel and Elle attempt to retrieve Claire. Gabriel’s foray into goodness has evidently come to an end, and I’m not really sure how/when this happened. He was just so determined a couple of episodes ago, and then all of a sudden…BLAH! I’M EVIL! (Therefore I will once again call him Sylar). Maybe all of my years out of college had triggered a process of “dumbening” which has rendered me incapable of interpreting the subtleties in tv shows.

I thought it was humorous that HRG’s company training program consists mainly of swinging a 2×4. But evidently he knows what he’s doing, because he absolutely WASTES the powerless Sylar. I would not want to rumble with HRG, despite my thorough wrestling abilities.

Oh yeah, Claire gets shot. But c’mon, she’s clearly not going to die.

Nathan and Peter search for the Haitian, who is searching for his troubled brother. This reminds me of SCRUBS or GREY’S ANATOMY when the patient suffers from some malady that is a metaphor for the doctor’s personal life. Needless to say, they find him and his brother, albeit not in the most ideal way.

As much as I dislike Parkman, the Daphne/Matt/Hiro/Ando storyline was hilarious tonight. (Well, with the exception of Daphne’s ironic affliction.) The best dialogue of the evening:

Ando: You have to fix Hiro! Look! (Shows Matt the comic)
Matt: What does it say!?
Ando: It says, “You have to fix Hiro!”

It also turns out that 10-year-old Hiro is not that different from regular Hiro. One more good line from this story:

Daphne’s father: Why are you turning your head like that? What’s wrong with you, son?
On a side note, when I started watching last night after my drumming class, the episode was a little over half way through, so the eclipse had already begun. Alas, I was not aware of this and spent some time wondering why the lighting was so shitty in this episode.

I had high expectations for this episode, but it left much to be desired. Perhaps Homer Simpson had it right when he advised Bart, “Never set goals and you’ll never be disappointed.” (I butchered that quote, but that’s the gist of it). All in all, I think the eclipse should have occurred earlier in the episode. There should also have been a ninja guest appearance. Perhaps two ninja guest appearances.

Review: It’s Coming

November 17, 2008

The episode somewhat begins with Ando’s sweet flying punch. It definitely reminded me of Wolverine going berserk. Unfortunately, Arthur freezes him and tosses him aside like he was Matt Parkman. (This got me really excited for Hiro’s vision of Ando with powers.) For some reason, Arthur merely reverts Hiro mentally to the age of ten, but does not actually take his powers. WTF, Arthur Petrelli? You call yourself an evil doer? Minor hilarity ensues.


At Pinehurst, Elle disrobes Gabriel with her electricity. This got me thinking: How long has it been since we’ve seen Peter Petrelli shirtless? Along those lines (strangely), Gabriel’s speech about resisting the “urge” felt like it would have been really effective in the Seinfield episode where they compete to see who is “master of his domain.” Clearly, Gabriel is the master of his domain as he eventually learns to attain powers without cutting off someone’s head. Empathy is the new brain-eating. I can’t say this makes me giddy.

Peter and Claire escape, but this storyline bored me to tears. And as my wifey mentioned, the sexual tension between Haylo is so disgustingly palpable I can barely watch these two in a scene. I feel like it wouldn’t have been entirely unexpected if they turned the corner of the sewer to find this guy:


Suresh conducts research on human beings, and we discover Claire is the catalyst. She is just so damn special, isn’t she? Question: why isn’t Suresh transforming as quickly as his test subjects? Additional question: why the hell is he still on this show? I wish he had a real power so that Sylar could cut his head open and take it. Wait, he doesn’t do that anymore. Crap.

Daphne saves Matt who saves Angela who saves Arthur who makes the valid point that these womens be screwing us over ALL the time. I can’t say I totally disagree. I’ve definitely been handed over to a super villain on numerous occasions thanks to the betrayal of a member of the female species.

The end of the episode got me excited for the eclipse. I just hope they make those boxes with the pin holes so that they don’t hurt their eyes looking at the sun.