Buildings 1-25

April 14, 2009

As you know, the building the government uses to conduct experiments on evolved humans is called Building 26. This was the title of an episode a few weeks ago and it reappeared in “1961” last night. This led me to speculate what the government has tucked away in all of those other buildings…

Building 1: Children’s letters to Santa Claus.

Building 2: A bevy of unreleased “Ernest Goes to…” movies.

Building 3: Dennis Rodman.

Building 4: Witnesses to the bombing of MOVE in Philadelphia.

Building 5: Elves, fairies, ogres, talking animals, ALF and other mythical/awesome creatures.

Building 6: A partially complete Death Star.

Building 7: Surplus food to trade for oil.

Building 8: Oil.

Building 9: An army of ninjas in perpetual battle with an army of samurai.

Building 10: Peter Petrelli’s testicles.

Building 11: Discarded Pogs.

Building 12: A time machine.

Building 13: Tupac Shakur.

Building 14: All remaining American Indians.

Building 15: Inappropriate children’s books.

Building 16: Ligers and man bear pigs.

Building 17: A cure for Cancer.

Building 18: Decorative plates commemorating the election of John McCain as America’s 44th president.

Building 19: Flying cars, hoverboards, teleporters and other technologies we just can’t handle yet.

Building 20: Tall Asians, who will be released sparingly when the NBA needs some height.

Building 21: Surplus Snuggies to trade for oil.

Building 22: Your mom. (Boo yah!)

Building 23: Transfers from Gitmo.

Building 24: Miniature models of all future buildings, featuring a model train which encircles all of them.

Building 25: Scripts for good episodes of HEROES.